Last night, I had the opportunity to witness what was, in my opinion, the greatest piece of fan fiction ever.
And that fan fiction was based off of none other than the TV show known as…POWER RANGERS.
I’ll make one thing quite clear: I really disliked that show. It was corny, cheesy, lame, horrifically low-budget, with worse special effects than Battlefield Earth.
It’s just a few high school students dressing up in tacky costumes and exaggerating their limited martial arts knowledge and stupid plastic weapons on poorly costumed enemies. I can barely believe that the actors who played these schmucks could say their lines with the least bit of pride.
And seriously…can anyone take Rita Repulsa seriously? With her horned headgear, traffic cone boobs, and laughable dubbing?
But all that changed last night.
Literally the first scene blew me away.
We get a POV shot of Kimberly, now played by Katie Sackhoff (the mother from Oculus) as she and her fellow Rangers rush around, firing their machine guns, through a WAR ZONE. They literally look like they’ll be defeated as the landscape explodes around them. They’re heading for a big, evil-looking machine in a desperate attempt to take it down. All of a sudden, an actually awesome looking Zord comes out of nowhere and kills the freaking thing!
Insert brief shot of Kimberly’s helmet lying on the ground on its side.
We cut to the not too distant future. The machines have taken over and forced humanity into servitude. All of the Rangers have been killed through a conspiracy. Only three Rangers remain alive:
– Rocky, the former second Red Ranger, who has joined the machines and now sports a mechanical leg,
– Kimberly, the former Pink Ranger, who has been captured and is now being interrogated by Rocky, and
– Tommy, the former Green Ranger, who, after the machines’ invasion, became a wandering Ronin. He is now the reason Rocky is interrogating Kimberly.
During the lengthy interrogation scene in which Rocky and Kimberly discuss the history of the Mighty Morphin era Rangers, we learn how all the Rangers were not killed, but brutally murdered. Jason, the original Red Ranger, was killed eight hours after marrying Kimberly after Bulk and Skull sold them out to the machines. Zach, the Black Ranger, was so hungry for action that he defected to the machines and helped them take down the last bastions of human resistance. That is, until he wore out his usefulness and was assassinated. Billy, the Blue Ranger, became an openly gay trillionaire businessman only to also be assassinated. Trini, the Yellow Ranger, died of vague causes.
Upon Rocky’s revelation that Kimberly is bait for Tommy, Tommy comes in, kills the guards, and fights Rocky. Tommy is defeated, but before Rocky can kill him, Kimberly kills Rocky.
Tommy, after he asks who Kimberly is, reveals that Kimberly died in the battle in the beginning. Kimberly’s skin crumbles off, revealing not only that Kimberly was a disguise for her true identity: Rita Repulsa, but that Rita was the mastermind behind the killings of each of the Rangers. Tommy attacks her and we cut to the credits.
By the power of Grayskull, that was incredible! It had action, it had suspense, it was dark, it was gritty, it was brutally violent, it had an ever-twisting plot, it was VERY R-rated, and it made Rita Repulsa truly evil. She still has her horns (they’re smaller), but she’s American, her traffic cone boobs are gone, and she has an evil voice that does not require dubbing.
It was splendidly acted for a fan film. It’s story was well written. It’s characters are well developed. Considering that it’s only 15 minutes long, that’s quite an accomplishment.
Make it into a full-length movie and release it in theaters please!